Jason said today

“I don’t get it. How can anyone find you likable, with your rough and tumble exterior? I’ve seen through it. You’re like Relic.”

“If you had no hand, I’d hold your stump.”

“Move it, bunghole.”

“This is 100 per cent your fault. I was never like this, all positive and shit.”

“Take some f*&^ing Maalox. I don’t care if you don’t like it. Because you know what I don’t like… you whining about your heartburn.”

“Because you lunge at me like a drunken stepfather.”

“I’m sorry I’m too sick to make babies.”

“Get your mitts off my blue cheese.”

“Sorry, that made me fart because I leaned so far.”

“It’s hideous. I hate it. Change it.”