Jason said today

“What do you know about English?”

“You smell like a dirty pineapple.”

“Shut up and let me tell a story!”

“That stuff is strong. Sweet. Like pie. Like rancid meat.”

“How do you make a dead baby float?…

One glass of root beer and two scoops of dead baby. Only one scoop if you’re on a diet.”

“That was so funny, I’m crying. It shouldn’t be, but it was.”

“Oh, I got attacked by a goose yesterday.”

“This is a really really good scene. Even though they’re in the desert, it appears to be very cold in the room.”

“I’ve been looking forward to this for two years.”

“Yes, I swear at all my girlfriends.”